Book Giveaway!

Posted by Zachary Bartels | Labels: , , , , , , , , | Posted On Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 12:53 PM


So my book Playing Saint comes out on October 7. Three weeks later, we're having an in-store event at Baker Book House in Grand Rapids. Thankfully, it's shaping up to not be my worst nightmare (i.e., me, card table, stack of my books, sadness), but I'd still love to have more people coming.

SOOOO, I offer this small incentive: if you live close enough to come,  click over to the event page and RSVP. At the end of the week, I will pick four people to receive Advanced Reader Copies of the book, a couple months before it even comes out.

If you live far away from Grand Rapids, I feel sorry for you, but you too can be in the running for a book by tweeting about the book or the event (include my twitter handle, @AuthorZBartels and hasthtag #PlayingSaint).

"But It's Fine the Way It Is . . . "

Posted by Zachary Bartels | Labels: , , , , , | Posted On Friday, August 1, 2014 at 11:02 AM

I’m leading a workshop about indie and traditional publishing at the Breathe Writers’ Conference this October. This is my second year being involved with the conference (sat on an authors’ panel last year) and I’m looking forward to it.

It’s also my wife’s second year leading a workshop. Last year, she spoke about finding the time and space to write (she also wrote a book on the topic, which you can buy here). This year, she’s delivering a talk she’s been working on for some time, on a topic about which she’s very passionate: editing your work. Seriously, that’s what she decided to speak on. Editing.

Now, I suppose that makes sense, considering that, in addition to having been called “[one] of the greatest up-and-coming fiction writers today” by the Saturday Evening Post, she has also worked in the publishing industry for more than a decade, in both editorial and marketing capacities. She loves putting words together, then moving them around, then losing some, then nixing the whole thing and starting over. That’s her idea of a swell time.

She also likes moving furniture around, so there’s that.

I, on the other hand, am the opposite. I like to find the best arrangement right off the bat and leave things be. That couch goes there, and it stays there. That semicolon goes there and I have no intention of moving it. If I didn’t want it there, I wouldn’t have pushed the little key with the semicolon on it. Suffice it to say, editing my writing is not among my favorite pastimes.

Let me just quickly acknowledge that different people work different ways here. Some writers do their best work when they just vomit everything out onto the page and then later sift through it for what’s good, rearrange it, etc., like that one scene in Columbiana with the flashdrive and the puke (which is probably a double-loser of a simile, in that it’s both really gross and also a reference to a movie that only like sixteen people ever saw). Others (people like me) like to work it all out internally, running through every idea, word, and phrase mentally (and, sometimes, orally and aurally, using a digital recorder) before putting anything to paper. And by paper, I of course mean this ten-year-old word processor.

Both methods have strengths and weaknesses, but the major weakness of my school is that we tend to convince ourselves that there is no need to edit. When you’ve lovingly, mentally caressed the words into exactly the right shape (note: we have left the “words as vomit” metaphor behind at this point), you are loathe to change that shape or—μὴ γένοιτο!—slash some words out of existence. And when someone else (say, my editor at HarperCollins) wants to get in there with the mallet and the scalpel, my first instinct is to defend with all necessary force. That’s step one: plant feet, raise battle axe, and shout This is Spartaaaaa! I’m only on my second time through this process, but I can already identify the rest of the steps:
  • 2. Remember that I am contractually obligated to go through the editorial process and that everyone has to it and that I’m not a beautiful-and-unique snowflake.
  • 3. Bite the bullet and try to change just enough to appease the editor.
  • 4. Realize that the book is getting better.
  • 5. Go back through with the editor’s notes, with an actual open mind that these changes (the vast majority anyway) might improve the book.
  • 6. Finish the back-and-forth with the editor and discover that the book is far better than the one I originally submitted.
I don’t want to move the couches around, but once they’ve been feng shuied to perfection, I do realize they look better and then I find myself ready to viciously defend the new configuration.

Here’s a couple photos to illustrate. They’re totally extraneous at this point, but they were what initially prompted me to write this post, so it seems a shame not to include them:

This is the south wall of my study. It has looked like this for almost a decade (see also: never moving things around). However, I recently acquired a bunch more books, necessitating more shelves (this little square was pretty much the only wall-space not covered in bookshelves).  I knew I’d need to make room for the coffee maker (and, heck, why not also get an espresso machine?), but the rest of the space would still more than accommodate all my new books. Naturally, I was loathe to mess with it, but when my wife started dropping hints about the stacks of books blocking access to her own new bookshelf at home, I finally jumped in and started the project.




Here’s what it looks like now. Upon surveying the completed project, my first thought was, "Wow! It really looked kind of cluttered and junky before, with all that stuff piled and stacked everywhere." I mean, it was fine the way it was and I was happy to look at it every day, but it’s much better now and I would definitely not click the UNDO button, if that were an option in real life.

So the point is: do yourself a favor. Try a little rearranging. Listen to your editor, your critique group, your beta-readers and just give it a try. You may find that you love it. I mean, not that you love editing. Editing is still the worst. But you may love where it gets you.

99 Days and Counting...

Posted by Zachary Bartels | Labels: , , , , | Posted On Monday, June 30, 2014 at 2:26 PM

We’re into the double digits until the release of my debut novel Playing Saint.

 Added a countdown to my webpage. It looks something like this:


Too soon?

Talking a Little Shop

Posted by Zachary Bartels | Labels: | Posted On Wednesday, June 18, 2014 at 7:20 PM

A few weeks ago, my family and I were walking to one of our favorite restaurants, when I asked my son (who was about to turn six), if he owned his own restaurant, what would he call it?

Without taking even a moment to ponder the question, he answered "Gatos Marteis." I'm guessing at the spelling; he pronounced the second word mar-TACE. Gatos is, of course, Spanish for cats, but I'm not sure why my son would know that, since his school teaches Chinese as its foreign language. I have no idea what marteis would mean or what language it would be.

I asked what kind of food they would serve. Again, without missing a beat, he said, "Italian." He promptly invited me to be a partner in this enterprise and we began brainstorming (meaning, I asked a bunch more questions about our restaurant). Further highlights include:

  • You can eat on the roof, and there are FIVE roofs
  • They have a song there, and there's a party every Saturday
  • They will be open for one full year, 24 hours a day, and then closed for one full year (to build anticipation? Perhaps he stole this idea from AMC?)
  •  The sign will have a green background and white letters and a piece of pizza under it. And the writing will be in Greek.
 After dinner, we went down the street to get some ice cream and I, wanting to broach the subject again, said, "You mind talking a little shop?"  My son looked at me, confused. "About Gatos Marteis," I said.

"Yeah, we can have a little shop there," he answered. "Let's do it!"

This kid, like most kids, spends 99% of his waking life imagining stuff. (Largely involving the defeating of ninjas and the transforming of vehicles into robots). Writing fiction means you get to keep that part of you alive and in good health and even get paid for it. Which is awesome.

You mind talking a little shop? Next time you've got writer's block, try the five-year-old approach, which is also the improv approach: don't think; react! What's the restaurant called? Gatos Marteis! Can you eat on the roof? Duh--there are FIVE roofs. You know how to generate creative material from nowhere. Remember that. Your first instinct may not be the best, but it will do until something better comes along.

Does anybody blog anymore?

Posted by Zachary Bartels | Labels: | Posted On Thursday, June 5, 2014 at 4:17 PM

Seriously, is this still a thing?

Sunny with a Chance of Suffering

Posted by Zachary Bartels | Labels: , , , | Posted On Thursday, April 3, 2014 at 10:33 AM



Easter is relatively late this year. That usually makes me happy. Not because I want to put it off or even because I need more time to prepare for Holy Week (although that never hurts), but because it means we’re that much more likely to have a sunny, bright, pleasant day for our Easter celebration. That’s good for family photos, it’s good for the people wearing new clothes, good for kids searching for Easter eggs. But most of all, it just feels right, doesn’t it?

The same way a White Christmas feels right. I get really bummed when there is visible grass on Christmas. Or (worse) cold rain or sleet. Or (worse yet) a giant ice storm that destroys the crab apple tree in my front yard. Christmas is supposed to be cold, but calm—snowy, pretty, pleasant, and of course silent. We have no idea what that first Christmas night (or morn or whatever) was like, but we won't stand for depressing rain or raging blizzards—not quietly, anyway.

Likewise, Easter is supposed to be warm, sunny, maybe a comfortable breeze. And, let’s face it, we’re borderline-offended if we have rain or, as was the case a couple years ago, thunderstorms. Why would God mess up his own party like that? That’s just weird.

But here’s the thing: when the baby Jesus was born, he didn’t enter a world that was idyllic, peaceful, silent, and serene. It was a world where power-mad kings who thought they were gods demanded that people make treacherous journeys so they could pay more crippling taxes, where governors who thought they were kings ordered the deaths of babies in order to protect their own thrones, and even the worship of the true God had become big business that mostly benefited a few corrupt individuals at the top. That sounds a lot more like a blizzard or an ice storm than a soft blanket of white snow.

And likewise when Jesus rose again—while he did indeed conquer sin and death—he certainly did not leave his followers to enjoy a perpetual nice spring day. In the wake of his resurrection came accusations, man-hunts, conspiracies and cover-ups, stonings, beatings, floggings, and all sorts of persecution. 

That may be worth bearing in mind as we celebrate these events.

Is it good to take some time to enjoy a peaceful winter night or a bright spring morning, gathered together, meditating on what Christ has done for us? Of course! But if/when the weather refuses to cooperate, perhaps that is just as well. Because it reminds us that Jesus’ first advent—his coming in the flesh, living a sinless life, dying a substitutionary death, and rising again on the third day—gives us life, not just when everything is perfect, but in the midst of our own storms, whatever they may be.

Naturally, I’m praying for sun, chirping birds, and all manner of pleasantness on Easter morning, but if the clouds burst, I pray I’ll be all the more thankful that our Risen King is still the Risen King in the midst of the storm.

Playing Saint Available for Pre-Order

Posted by Zachary Bartels | Labels: , , , , | Posted On Monday, March 24, 2014 at 12:30 AM

Click here to visit the Amazon pre-buy page.